The bartender and I have spent the past few days arguing because we can't figure out what to get each other for Christmas this year.
The bartender: See? I'm easy to buy for. You can get me Dragon software, and a little bottle of cologne...
Me: That's two things.
The bartender: It's two more than you.
Me: I already said! You can get me socks with kitties on them...
The bartender: Great. Socks.
Me: ...and...another pair of kitty socks...See? That's two things right there.
The bartender: Oh my god, shut up.