Friday, October 16, 2009

MrSteve Totally Gets Me

Comments from MrSteve about yours truly:

"Just seen on TFLN (and it made me think of you) - "I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep."

"Do you realize that the two most popular responses around you are the eye roll and the face palm?"

Thursday, October 08, 2009

In Which Amberance Has A "Meal" In Spite Of Herself

Eventually, most people who know me give up on trying to appeal to my rationality (which they will by then have discovered I don't possess) and instead will deal with me in the altered state of reality in which I live. I am grateful for these people. Without them I would likely starve.

Case in point: Last week I wandered into the office of BrownsFan because I was ravenously hungry but mentally incapable of purchasing food because all I had on me were $20s. Now, if you don't know me well, this will not seem like a problem, because if I have money, I can obviously buy food. The folks who DO know me have just collectively thought "Uh oh" because they all know the $20/$10 dilemma. The $20/$10 dilemma is this thing where I am a ridiculous asshat and won't break a $20 for anything that costs less than $10, and also will not pull out the plastic for anything that costs less than $10. Basically, if I want something that costs less than $10 and I don't already have a fistful of change and small bills, I'm screwed. And in this case hungry.

"I need you to convince me that not eating anything even though I'm hungry because I don't want to break a $20 is stupid," I informed BrowsFan. A rational appeal calls for a rational response doesn't it? No! No, it most certainly does not, and BrownsFan has known me long enough to realize that even if it seems like I want a logical answer, even if I specifically ask for one, I'm never going to buy into such hooey. And bless her, she didn't even try.

Instead she said, "It's Thursday today, which means you're going to the bar right? So since you're probably going to take a cab home, you're going to have to break that $20 later on tonight anyway. If you do it now, you won't have to ask the cab driver for change," which appealed to both my large bill asshattery AND my paralyzing fear of strangers. In the face of such a flawless argument, there was nothing for me to do but go to Walgreens and buy a bag of Chex Mix.