Friday, October 31, 2008

Brilliant Ideas That Occurred To Me During the Blackhawks Game

  • Ice Crew home driveway shoveling service
  • UFC Fight Night on Ice
  • Zamboni bumper cars

Mixed Reactions

I've had a number of differing responses to my post about how I fear marriage.

BrownsFan, proponent of marriage and 20 year veteran of same is continually dismayed by my opinion. Upon reading the post, she looked at me sadly and argued, "Yeah, but it's a nice Death Star."

MrSteve was a bit more supportive and also a bit more true to Star Wars canon (because seriously, a nice Death Star?), sending along this lovely motivational poster:

The agent and I discussed the post and the reaction of BrownsFan over coffee. He said something funny which I did not write down and promptly forgot. When I called him this morning to find out what he had said, he didn't even remember having the conversation, thus proving that in fact we are pretty much already married as we clearly do not bother to listen to each other anymore.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Amberance: Good at Star Wars, Bad at Relationships

H-town: how's the agent? is he as dreamy as ever?
me: pretty good. except for that part where he thinks he wants to marry me. yeah
H-town: oooh COMMITMENT!! echo*echo*echo
me: no one can marry me! i am not marriable
H-town: oh, you are certainly long-term relationship/commonlaw marriage/regular marriage/gay marriage - able
me: i am none of those! i am the textbook committment phobe
H-town: aw, man i like the agent!
me: i know, i suck.
H-town: and there's no way you'll ever become into commitment, huh?
me: not that i'm aware of. i think i can and then when the moment comes i panic and run
me: with the words of admiral ackbar running through my head. "It's a trap!"
H-town: haha
me: marriage is a secretly fully armed and operational Death Star

Friday, October 17, 2008

Presenting Dumbassity For Your Listening Pleasure

After much editing, episode 3 of my super awesome podcast Dumbassity is available for download. It is our drunkest podcast yet. So drunk that MrSteve almost couldn't find any useful audio to work with. He managed to make it work though, and everyone but me sounds mostly coherent. This is not due to biased editing, it is due to the fact that I do not make sense when drunk. Less sense than I usually make, and much less sense than your average alcohol impaired individual. Be sure to check out the part where I explain my aversion to the Viagra commercials over and over again. Like FIVE TIMES in two minutes. Oh yeah, I'm awesome.

Our guest was the agent, so if you've ever wondered about what kind of self-loathing masochist would date me, download the show and wonder no more (instead you can wonder why. That's what I do). Besides the agent, the main topics were a debate about who has the worst musical taste and the world of male porn stars.

You can download this timeless masterpiece here. As always, there is absolutely no way that this is safe for work. Which is why I listened to it and wrote the show notes at work (whatever, it was lunch and there's barely anyone here today).

Friday, October 10, 2008

Amberance Gives Questionable Advice

Mrs. Sizemore: i don't want to run the marathon
me: but gene will be there!
Mrs. Sizemore: i know but i didn't train. at all.
me: can you just run part of it?
Mrs. Sizemore: um it doesn't count
me: hmm. can you disguise someone else to look like you and then secretly switch places?
Mrs. Sizemore: i wish i'm just afraid i'm going to hurt myself and for no good reason
me: well obviously if it hurts just stop running and get a taco instead
Mrs. Sizemore: haha not like sore i mean like tearing an ACL because i didn't train
me: oh yeah, that would be bad
Mrs. Sizemore: i do like tacos


There has been a lack of posting for the following reasons:

  • My football team stinks
  • My baseball teams didn't make the playoffs and got swept in the first round, respectively
  • I don't have a cat doing anything funny (unless dead is funny)
  • My current job description could effectively be "watching money disappear into thin air"
  • I hate and do not blog about politics
  • Episode 3 of Dumbassity was so drunken that MrSteve could barely edit it into something useful, and it has not been posted yet

I do have two stories coming up, I just need to find the time to write them down. In the meantime, please enjoy this picture of a murderous jack-o-lantern man: