Birthday Loot!

Happy Birthday to me! The gifts are rolling in! So far:

• Birthday cards so far from my step-grandma (thad be Harriet for the fam), my dad and stepmom (with mulah), and the bartender (with 4 CDs of punk rock music he burned for me and drew lopsided smiley faces on);
• One text message from Hot Heather;
• One IM message from Fish;
• e-mail wishes from Cap (who will see me at Tai's), Simmy (who sang happy birthday to me, or, well, typed it), Heather (who points out that I'm old), Kelly (who will call before happy hour), Timmy (who hopes I get all my birthday wishes plus two more!) and Catholic Dennis (who wants me to have a good one);
• A phone call from my dad yesterday. He left a message on my voicemail which was perhaps the most words he's ever said to me all at once in my entire life. It went on for almost a whole minute;
• A hilarious video (probably not work safe due to penis drawings) from Hot Heather. OK, this was maybe not a birthday present so much as a MySpace bulletin she posted yesterday, but I saw it today and laughed, and it's my birthday, so I've decided it's a present;
• Cupcakes from my boss. This was partly for my birthday and partly because he'll use any excuse to go to Tag's Bakery in Evanston;
• The guys who write my favorite web comic, Cyanide and Happiness. Apparently they have telepathic abilities and knew it was my birthday today, but also believe I am a boy. Here is today's comic:

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

• Jimmy Kimmel and God conspired to get me the best present of all. Last night I had planned to decorate my birthday cake, but after dinner I suddenly got really tired and fell asleep on the couch with the TV on. It was God who made me fall asleep, you know. Had I decorated the cake as planned and then gone to bed I would have missed it. But as it was, I fell asleep on the couch. And then God awakened me just as Jimmy was introducing his second guest of the night: BEN STEIN;
• The aforementioned birthday cake. Chocolate with homemade frosting depicting Chief Wahoo of the Cleveland Indians. From me.

I am still waiting to hear from my idol Jennie Smash, and for the assless chaps. But overall, I've been raking it in so far.
Let's continue this thing by leaving comments that say nice things about me! Or by sending assless chaps.