Monday, August 20, 2012

Bonus Fifty Shades Review Material For Your Eyeballs And Earballs

While I was in Baltimore this weekend visiting H-Town, we took a few minutes out of our busy schedule for a special supplement to our Fifty Shades Darker review in the form of a dramatic reading of an email exchange between Christian and Ana from near the end of Chapter 12. For those of you who haven't read the books, and dear readers, I sincerely hope for your sake that it's most of you, whenever Christian and Ana email each other, two really annoying things happen (apart from the fact that they should be using instant messenger and not email in the first fucking place). One is that instead of just replying to the email that preceded it, they start a new email with a different subject line for every response. The other is that Christian edits his email signature EVERY SINGLE TIME, which not only makes him look like the world's most childish CEO, but also completely defeats the purpose of having a standard email signature in the first place. For these reasons, we left the subject lines and Christian's email signatures in for our dramatic interpretation instead of just reading the text of the emails. This exchange is representative of every email exchange Christian and Ana have ever had. Have fun pondering that while you're trying to fall asleep tonight.

The audio is very quiet for the first few seconds, but it gets better. Enjoy.

8 comments:

Shawn Lucas said...

The hurting....make it stop...

Not your reading. That was spot on. The source material, though, that needs some work.

Anonymous said...

Apologies for the grammar/vocabulary nazism, but I think the word is "preceded," not "proceeded."

Hannah said...

I'm not sure if that's genius or torture. I'd forgotten just how bad the email exchanges are (if I'd sent some of those when I was 15 I would've been embarrassed by the immaturity) but, read in a piss-taking tone, they are much, much funnier.

Anonymous said...

The sheer purile stupidity of those emails makes me wonder about the author's mind. Sadly it probably made her warm and fuzzy inside to write those up.

Els said...

Hahaha! That made me spit coffee all over my keyboard! Use your BlackBerry goddamn it! Have finished reading all three which is very painful, especially Freed where she CONTINUES TO OVERANALYSE EVERY FUCKING THING HE SAYS OR DOES. Meh. Although (and I hesitate by not wanting to give the nailgnawing plot away) I did get excited when Ana puts her life in danger.
Yours
E Hullis
CEO of bored of crap writing.com

hkgeddes said...

Haha! Brilliant! You need to do more of these with other email exchanges from the books, they are ten times funnier when you guys read them.

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

"WHY ARENT YOU USING YOUR BLACKBERRY THREE EXPLANATION POINTS!"

I cant stop putting that bit on repeat it makes me laugh so much

I will be sad when you finish these god awful books as it is so funny!