Wednesday, November 06, 2013

Nice Tits, England.

Per the cake master halfway through this three way conversation with H-Town, "We are not mature enough for birds to be called tits."



amberance: there's a bird here just called a tit*

H-Town: wow, so you could say "look at the tits on that tree!"
and no one would slap you
and if tits landed on a woman, "Look at the tits on that gal?"
brilliant

The cake master: "There are so many tits on that tree! I've never seen so many tits in one place!"

H-Town: I wish I had more tits around my house!
I’m moving

The cake master: "Aren't the tits beautiful?"
Are the tits noisy?

H-Town: we wouldn't have such a mosquito problem if there are more tits
I hear tits make a slapping noise

The cake master: Are they soft and fluffy?

amberance: "HOLY SHIT THAT OWL JUST ATE THOSE TITS!"

H-Town: oh, now those tits just flew right into the window!

The cake master: Do they swing around in circles?

H-Town: do they hang low and/or wobble to and fro?

amberance: I want them to have really pointy beaks
like "man those are some sharp tits"

The cake master: Yeah, are there low-hanging tits?
They're only on the saggy branches?

H-Town: and if they're male, look at those man tits!

amberance: also they should always fly in pairs

H-Town: their nests should be called bras
The cake master: If there a bunch of nests built on top of each other, are they called support bras?

H-Town: training bras
and if the nests are all mashed together into one sort of uni-nest, it's a sports bra
i hope when they walk, they bounce

The cake master: There's birds that look like tits
But they’re fake tits
You can tell by feeling them.

H-Town: you can tell because they don't move as much

The cake master: I hear the male tit is smaller though.
And not as bouncy

H-Town: People must wonder why male tits have beaks

The cake master: I sure do

H-Town: tits usually show up about spring break each year

The cake master: well, in the winter they're all covered up

H-Town: and sometimes it's so cold their beaks could cut glass

The cake master: I hear you can tell if it's cold just by looking at a naked tit
As they get older, the more their beaks point at the ground

H-Town: the older tits just walk around naked at the local YMCA in the locker rooms

*In America we don't have tits, but instead the related titmouse and chickadee.

4 comments:

Tavis Ryan King said...

Tits are over-rated. Cocks are the fan favourite.

Webbo said...

Just wait till you meet a cockchafer. It'll blow your mind.

Leon said...

Since girls are called birds some places in the UK can't you say "look at the tits on that bird" too?

Jen Stone said...

Why thank you, Colonialist.

A bird landed on my shoulder today. I blogged about it because it was traumatising. It wasn't a tit, though, because if that were the case I would have immediately been able to shout: "THERE IS A TIT ON MY SHOULDER."

Because you have to.

EVERYONE DRINK!