Sunday, November 24, 2013

New Segment - Short Movie Reviews

I just watched Powder for the first time, because StereoNinja hadn't seen it either and the reviews on Netflix were good. It was a mistake. Here's my take:

Synopsis: An electromagnetic albino teenager with alopecia gets ripped away from his home "for his own good". Everyone is a complete asshole to him, including several adults who try to beat him up. He accidentally kills a kid, then saves him, then runs away, then gets struck by lightning and then the sky eats him.

Seriously. The sky eats him.

That's the movie.

Oh except for the part where Jeff Goldblum starts stroking his face like a creepy pedophile. Jeff Goldblum is supposed to be the good guy, by the way.

I give it 3 out 5 what the fucks.


Meredith Oliver said...

You know why Jeff Goldblum strokes his face like a creepy pedophile in Powder? Because the guy who directed Powder is a creepy pedophile. No joke. The director sexually molested a 12 year old child who worked on one of his films, was tried and convicted, and served jail time for the offense. So, you know, that's totally great that a child-focused company like fucking DISNEY hired a convicted CHILD MOLESTER to direct one of their films. Solid.

Can you imagine the direction? "Uh, Jeff...can you stroke your chin like a creepy child molester? Here, wait, let me demonstrate from personal experience."

Ethan Coal said...

Yup. There is now something known as a Victor Salva clause that some people have in their contracts in Hollywood, meaning that no one convicted of a crime against a child can work on that film.

That guy is a scumbag. I'm surprised Netflix even has that movie on streaming.

amberance said...

I don't understand what Disney is thinking sometimes. Sick.