Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Congratulations Simone and Russell!

The Bizzybiz Wedding Awards
brought to you by: The Runaway Bride (with apologies to those of you who don't know any of these people)
Most Adorable Couple: Simone and Russell
runner up: Simone's Grandparents, Syd and Dolly
Best Wedding Feature: Simone and Russell, hiring a live band instead of a dj.

Best Speech: Kelly, sister of the bride, for saying "Simone's birthday" instead of "Simone's wedding"

Best Sense of Humor: The Midpark Alumni for interrupting the rest of Kelly's speech by singing "Happy Birthday"
runner up: Brandon, after the reception ended, for shouting "To the bar!"

Best Kept Secret: Simone, for successfully pulling off fake hair

Best Wedding Dress: Simone, as the bride

Furthest Distance Traveled to Attend: Simone's family, "The Brits", St. Albans, Hertfordshire, United Kingdom
runner up: Kelly, Los Angeles California

Most Successful at Making Amber Cry: Simone, for thanking her "American family", by name, during her speech
runner up: rum and coke
Most Hoity-Toity Feature: Small dish of raspberry sorbet, served in between the salad and the main course, to "cleanse the palette"

Most Frequently Mistaken for the Groom: Eric, Russell's identical twin brother
runner up: Sisler
Best Use of the Union Jack at an American Wedding: The Brits, for busting in during "We Are Family" wearing Union Jack plastic hats

Best Performance of an Irish Drinking Song: Brandon, for "We drink and drink and drink and drink and drink and drink and FIGHT!"

Most Asinine Display: The Midpark Alumni, for drunkenly singing the Alma Mater and the fight song while hugging each other and swaying back and forth on the dance floor

Best Accidental Flashing: Amber, for her boobs popping out of her strapless dress no less than three times while swing dancing with Doug to "Jump, Jive and Wail" *

Worst Job of Denying Having Hooked Up: Vinny, for "Diana had an extra bed..."

Best Wedding Ever: Simone and Russell.

Congratulations guys!

* I'd like to thank God, my family, the GAP, my partner Doug for swinging me around like a ragdoll and making this all possible, and the fans. Without you guys I could never embarrass myself this frequently.


tony93637 said...

what! no 'best tattoo' category? just kidding... congrats to your friends, may it last a lifetime.

Whatsername said...

i liked the irish drinking song, myself.

Hot Heather said...

why didn't you invite me to be your date? amber makes heather sad.

Doug said...


amberance said...

Tony - Best tattoo, with this group, always goes to Demas for his tiny cross on the side of his left pinky.

whatsername - Credit where it is due: Brandon and I got this song from the bartender, who got it from a punk rock song.

HH - You didn't get invited as my date because people who weren't in serious relationships were not invited to bring a date. Which was awesome because it meant we spent time with our group and didn't have to entertain any "outsiders".

Doug - You're an asshat. You've made the blog before, for naming the Rusty Nail and for living in Pittsburgh near an IKEA. Pay attention, fool.

Hot Heather said...

i know why i wasn't invited... it was a joke, you didn't have to push the knife deeper... and that drinking song is one of the best, next to the beer song by reel big fish

TheJesusFish said...

Don't feel bad Heather, I wasn't invited either.

But I had more important things to do anyway.

I had nerds to entertain.