The Bizzybiz Wedding Awards
brought to you by: The Runaway Bride (with apologies to those of you who don't know any of these people)
Most Adorable Couple: Simone and Russell
runner up: Simone's Grandparents, Syd and Dolly
Best Wedding Feature: Simone and Russell, hiring a live band instead of a dj.
Best Speech: Kelly, sister of the bride, for saying "Simone's birthday" instead of "Simone's wedding"
Best Sense of Humor: The Midpark Alumni for interrupting the rest of Kelly's speech by singing "Happy Birthday"
runner up: Brandon, after the reception ended, for shouting "To the bar!"
Best Kept Secret: Simone, for successfully pulling off fake hair
Best Wedding Dress: Simone, as the bride
Furthest Distance Traveled to Attend: Simone's family, "The Brits", St. Albans, Hertfordshire, United Kingdom
runner up: Kelly, Los Angeles California
Most Successful at Making Amber Cry: Simone, for thanking her "American family", by name, during her speech
runner up: rum and coke
Most Hoity-Toity Feature: Small dish of raspberry sorbet, served in between the salad and the main course, to "cleanse the palette"
Most Frequently Mistaken for the Groom: Eric, Russell's identical twin brother
runner up: Sisler
Best Use of the Union Jack at an American Wedding: The Brits, for busting in during "We Are Family" wearing Union Jack plastic hats
Best Performance of an Irish Drinking Song: Brandon, for "We drink and drink and drink and drink and drink and drink and FIGHT!"
Most Asinine Display: The Midpark Alumni, for drunkenly singing the Alma Mater and the fight song while hugging each other and swaying back and forth on the dance floor
Best Accidental Flashing: Amber, for her boobs popping out of her strapless dress no less than three times while swing dancing with Doug to "Jump, Jive and Wail" *
Worst Job of Denying Having Hooked Up: Vinny, for "Diana had an extra bed..."
Best Wedding Ever: Simone and Russell.
* I'd like to thank God, my family, the GAP, my partner Doug for swinging me around like a ragdoll and making this all possible, and the fans. Without you guys I could never embarrass myself this frequently.