Mrs. Sizemore: Hey, do you want to move to Canada and get gay married?
Me: That depends. Do I have to learn French?
Mrs. Sizemore: No, you don't have to learn French. I speak enough for both of us.
Me: Good, because I was planning on learning Portuguese.
Mrs. Sizemore: Ooo, if you learn Portuguese we could move to Brazil!
Me: Nuh uh. They have tarantulas in Brazil, I'm not moving there. It has to be Canada.
MrSteve: Oh what, you think there's no spiders in Canada?
Me: Not big ones.
Mrs. Sizemore: Yeah, the spiders in Canada are small and killed by socialism.