Me: i hate this time of year, i really really do. why isn't it christmas?
Fish: Because it's august, duh. Why would they do christmas in august?
Me: because why not? i bet JoE would go to a christmas party in august
Fish: Nope. No snow. Snow is the holiday lubricant
Me: I thought booze was the holiday lubricant
Fish. No, snow is the lubricant that helps us slide into the moist crevasse of Christmas
Me: you're writing christmas porn
Fish: Or I'm just making holiday innuendos
Me: either way i disagree. snow is the lone drawback to the holiday season. it is cold and wet and makes me fall down
(it is in cahoots with alcohol)
Fish: I have no idea how you love Xmas and hate snow
Maybe you should move to the southern hemisphere
Me: oh, it's ok as long as i never have to go outside. but short of having groceries delivered and door to door laundry service, snow is just in my way and ruining my pants