Wednesday, December 06, 2006

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Anyone who knows me knows that I hate shopping. It embodies everything that I hate: large crowds, talking to strangers, having to drive places, making choices in front of other people. I guess it doesn't really involve spiders, but it is clearly an activity coughed up from the 7th circle of hell. So it should come as no surprise that I am fully on board with the "buy things on the internet" wagon.

The best thing about shopping on the internet, besides being able to do it in my pajamas or while watching Gilmore Girls, is the variety. The internet has everything you can buy in a real store, plus a crap load of things that you can't, such as really offensive t-shirts, or subversive cross-stitch patterns, or Festivus poles. This is important because all of my friends are quite weird, and finding something they would like for Christmas in a brick and mortar store is next to impossible. I mean, I know plenty of people who could really use a marshmallow shooter, but I'm not going to find it at my local Toys-R-Us.

The sheer volume of my internet shopping this year has led me to realize another benefit: home delivery. Almost every day that I come home now, I find a package on my doorstep. It's like getting presents every day! It doesn't even matter that none* of it is actually for me, I still get the joy of opening the boxes to discover what's inside. Also the satisfying feeling of receiving mail that is not a bill. And occasionally, joy of all joys, some free bubble wrap to play with. Today I'm expecting some Hawaiian Blend peppercorns for the bartender's stocking. It comes in a glass jar. The bubble wrap outlook for today is good.


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