Parent Company Accountant: What's for lunch today?
Me: A glass of water.
PCA: That's it? Are you trying to starve yourself?
PCA: You know what you need? (holds up a McDonald's bag) A McRib!
Me: I haven't had a sandwich from McDonald's in 20 years.
PCA: Twenty years? Woah. Are you against trans-fats or something?
Me: I'm against foods that taste like my ass.
PCA: Haha. Hmm. Well your ass tastes pretty good at McRib time.