The gorilla: Is it me or is there nothing on tv?
Me: It's fucking ridiculous. This is Thanksgiving. Shouldn't Star Wars be on, line, five channels right now?
The gorilla: I would even watch Phantom Menace right now. I am calling TBS. I am going to give those motherfuckers an earful.
Me: Excellent. While you're at it can you mention that their "Very Funny" lineup is not remotely funny? Thanks, you're a peach.
The gorilla: They hung up on me.
Me: I'm not surprised. You really should stop starting conversations with "Listen, you cunt"