Me: I'm kind of starting to have a crush on Eddie Olczyk.
BrownsFan: (horrified) Not...physically...right?
Me: Um, well not really because I think he'd keep yelling "stop it right here" all the time. And that wouldn't be fun.
BrownsFan: ....Ok.
Me: I just think he's really funny and intelligent and I sort of like his little accent (giggle).
BrownsFan: Look, I know you finally had your way with [boy who doesn't call], but I REALLY think you need to go to Bermuda and have sex all week so you're not so...
Me: Boy crazy?
BrownsFan: Obsessed.
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