Me: I'm kind of starting to have a crush on Eddie Olczyk.
BrownsFan: (horrified) Not...physically...right?
Me: Um, well not really because I think he'd keep yelling "stop it right here" all the time. And that wouldn't be fun.
Me: I just think he's really funny and intelligent and I sort of like his little accent (giggle).
BrownsFan: Look, I know you finally had your way with [boy who doesn't call], but I REALLY think you need to go to Bermuda and have sex all week so you're not so...
Me: Boy crazy?