Heather: I had a dream last night where I was visiting you. You were living in a college dorm, and when you introduced me to your friends I said, "Now don't expect me to defile a towel like your other visiting friends have!" And then everyone busted up laughing.
I have no idea what that means.
Me: It means when you visit me you should wash your ass before you wipe it on my towel.
Heather: What the hell? Why don't you just handcuff me and take away my rights as an American!