As you can tell from my last post, I am all signed up for the zombie 5k in Indianapolis this June, which I will again be running with H-Town and this time we will be joined by her brother E-Town. This week I start training again, which I assume will suck just as much if not more than it did last time because I haven't run since the last race in October and despite this El Nino miracle weather going on, it is still way the fuck colder outside than when I last trained for this sort of stupidity in September/October. I have downloaded a shit ton more of The Prodigy from iTunes to help me in matching my running soundtrack to my white hot anger about the fact that I am running.
So what's the good news, then? Well, since you asked, the good news is that after June I am never doing this again. I know I said that last time, but this time it is for real because this time I have a completely legit reason. I was discussing how much I hate running with some of the other women in my dance class last night and as we were talking, the great Michelle L'Amour began making a grimacy sad face at us. "All right," she said in a tone of voice that indicated it wasn't remotely all right, "but please make sure you stretch really well before and after. Running really shortens your hamstrings."
RIGHT THERE. Did you see it? Running shortens your hamstrings. And I am a dancer now, and I need my hamstrings to be long and flexible so I can do cool sexy bendy things. AND I already sit at a desk all day long which is also REALLY BAD for your hamstrings. So you see? I should not be running. At all. Ever. My dance instructor told me so and that woman can bend herself into a very sexy pretzel. I am done with any and all running after June. Instead, following in the footsteps of Mrs. Sizemore, I will be starting trapeze lessons in the spring. Yes, yes I will.
Showing posts with label E-Town. Show all posts
Showing posts with label E-Town. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Monday, October 03, 2011
Sibling Fight (Except It's With My Best Friend's Sibling, Not Mine)
E-Town: how's the runnin?
Me: there is zero chance i will be ready. or ever do this again
zombies and [H-Town], i keep telling myself. zombies and [H-Town]
E-Town: you're tougher than that
just do a slow jog
Me: it's warm enough this week to go running outside again, so that's a bonus
E-Town: that's good
make me proud of ya
Me: still wish you could make it :)
E-Town: yeah, me too
we can kill them in Indy next year
I might try two of them next year
Me: that's crazy talk. I would potentially be a zombie next year though
E-Town: I'd punch your face if you came near me as a zombie
Me: you aren't allowed to hit the zombies
so nah
imma take all your flags
anyway, home go time. have a great night!
E-Town: I'd hit you.
night
Me: there is zero chance i will be ready. or ever do this again
zombies and [H-Town], i keep telling myself. zombies and [H-Town]
E-Town: you're tougher than that
just do a slow jog
Me: it's warm enough this week to go running outside again, so that's a bonus
E-Town: that's good
make me proud of ya
Me: still wish you could make it :)
E-Town: yeah, me too
we can kill them in Indy next year
I might try two of them next year
Me: that's crazy talk. I would potentially be a zombie next year though
E-Town: I'd punch your face if you came near me as a zombie
Me: you aren't allowed to hit the zombies
so nah
imma take all your flags
anyway, home go time. have a great night!
E-Town: I'd hit you.
night
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Running Update: Week Two
I think the status of my running experiment is best summed up in this conversation with H-Town's brother, runner extraordinaire:
E-Town: how's the running?
Me: I want to stab everything.
btw, I learned this: Do not run on the same day you have burlesque class. FYI
E-Town: haha, ok
Me: my legs are like spaghetti today
E-Town: thin and tasty?
Me: limp and wrapped around a fork
I seriously look like I have just now discovered my knees and I'm still getting used to them. I was confused about why my body was rebelling against this so much - the running part I understand, but I was a dancer for 14 years and I felt like I should be holding up better in the face of pliés and hip circles. Then it dawned on me that the last time I did a plié I was about 17. My body already knew that, and clearly is telling me "No fucking way, lady. You are every day of 33 years old, so stop trying to bend your knees sideways." As with most advice I am given, I've chosen to ignore this, and the 26 seconds of choreography we learned last night has been run in my office today more than once, though I'm not sure if it's because I want to get everything down perfect before the next class or because I like to touch my butt.
E-Town: how's the running?
Me: I want to stab everything.
btw, I learned this: Do not run on the same day you have burlesque class. FYI
E-Town: haha, ok
Me: my legs are like spaghetti today
E-Town: thin and tasty?
Me: limp and wrapped around a fork
I seriously look like I have just now discovered my knees and I'm still getting used to them. I was confused about why my body was rebelling against this so much - the running part I understand, but I was a dancer for 14 years and I felt like I should be holding up better in the face of pliés and hip circles. Then it dawned on me that the last time I did a plié I was about 17. My body already knew that, and clearly is telling me "No fucking way, lady. You are every day of 33 years old, so stop trying to bend your knees sideways." As with most advice I am given, I've chosen to ignore this, and the 26 seconds of choreography we learned last night has been run in my office today more than once, though I'm not sure if it's because I want to get everything down perfect before the next class or because I like to touch my butt.
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