Bizzybiz Blog

Do not Google Image search "pile of kittens".

You've all seen the Viagra commercials I assume? Bunch of middle-aged dudes sitting around with their guitars, jamming in someone's ...

The occupants of my six flat building are as follows: Nice couple with annoying dog, nice lady with cat, nice girls who take a lot of baths ...

Greenpeace volunteer soliciting people on the street: It will only take 60 seconds to help save the trees. Me (without breaking stride): I ...

Ladies and germs, it is my pleasure to introduce you to Jonah, my new tiny tiny (stuffed) whale: This is, I think, the closest I will ev...

Sea World is fucking with me. You know how I said I will suddenly declare that I want something I can't have, either because it's ...

Today is the long awaited Steak and Blow Job Day. Treat your man to some filetio. P.S. I am extremely pleased with myself for coming up ...

The agent: I don't know what I should have for dinner. Me: Cookies! You should have Girl Scout Cookies! The agent: Cookies are not din...

It's that time of year again. The time that causes me much anxiety as well as the time that makes me both broke and fat. The little gre...

Some strangers in Tai's are playing horrible horrible pop/dance music on the jukebox. MrSteve and I eye each other, dismayed. MrStev...

A little something I penned while writing a shopping list this morning, for which I am entirely too pleased with myself to justify: Roses...

Either word has gone around that I am in dire need of some kind of existential help, or the grown ups in my life are deliberately trying to...

Hey, dumbass. We miss you already. Tai's won't be the same without you.

... not nearly enough degrees. I can't feel my face.

"Why are you here?" seemed to be the $64,000 question at Tai's on Thursday night. Because it was Valentine's Day, see, and...

me: i wish i was a muppet H-town: doesn't that really just mean you want a hand in your ass? me: *hangs head in shame* yes H-town: Ah...

"You're going to have a rough commute today," announced the bartender this morning. I blew this off and attempted to roll over...

Co-worker: So what's happening? me: Very little. I lead a boring life. Co-worker: Yeah right. me: No, I'm serious! I don't do...

So I have been 30 for nearly two weeks now. I am now officially too old to be trusted. I'm both old enough to know better and too old fo...

MrSteve: Oh! Vampira died! Me: Who? MrSteve: Maila Nurmi. Me: [blank stare] MrSteve: Did you see 'Ed Wood'? Me: No. MrSteve: O...