Haiku - Ode To My FAT ASS

Come to the office
there are some Girl Scout cookies
out on the counter

I see Tag-a-longs
shortbread cookies and Thin Mints
six fucking boxes

Fuck you, you temptress
go tell your evil daughter
to find a new hobby

Can I resist them?
Hardly. I stuff my fat face -
there goes my waistline

Yesterday also
ate Chipotle for dinner...
inhaled is more like it

But did I stop there?
Nope! At home had pizza rolls
and also grilled cheese

Over the weekend
Heather bakes me some cookies
sends them in the mail

I open the box,
read her letter and then I
eat them all at once

AMBER YOU LARD ASS!
WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM???
STOP FUCKING EATING!!!!